A Good Reason
by Rae D. Magdon
Summary: Laura is relieved to have Carmilla back in one piece, and she isn't willing to waste any more time. (Hollstein oneshot based around the S1 Finale).


**AN:** Hiii! My name is Rae, and I write LOTS of lesbian stories. :D This is my first Carmilla fic, but you can check out my profile for stories in other fandoms, and I hope to write a lot more soon. I'm also a published author with six books under my belt, but I keep coming back to fanfic because I am trash. ;w;

This is just a little extension of the Season 1 Finale. *cough* I porned it up, but it's porn with love and feels. Enjoy! It's vanilla, so aside from the fact that it's very explicit, no warnings are necessary. Be careful with any future fics I write in this fandom, though. They might end up including BDSM, bondage, strap-ons, and God knows what else.

 **. . .**

 **A Good Reason**

 **. . .**

"Are you hurt? It - it looks like maybe you're hurt. And I'm sorry I hugged you so hard that you're hurt, it's just that... you were dead, a-and now you're not, and I know that you're probably going..." Her voice catches, lodging against a thick lump in her throat. Carmilla's eyes are searing into hers, wide and brimming with tears. _Wait, tears? I didn't know vampires could cry._

The words break loose again, tumbling free before she can stop them. "...through a lot of stuff with your Mom, it's just that..."

And then rough fingers are raking through her hair, pulling her forward. A desperate mouth catches hers, not quite warm, but full of tenderness. Her own hands fly up, searching for something to grip. Somehow, she finds Carmilla's shoulders, but she's still swaying, reeling from shock. _She's alive. Oh God, she's alive, and she's kissing me, and- okay, maybe 'alive' isn't the best way to put it, but..._

They break apart. She isn't sure how long the kiss lasted, only that it ended too soon. The gentle palms cupping her face are no substitute for the lips she's lost. But Carmilla is smiling at her, honest to goodness smiling, and even with bruises on her face and smudges of dirt across her nose, she is beautiful. So incredibly beautiful that Laura can't help smiling too.

"And I know that you didn't do everything for me, but I just-"

Both of them lean in at once. They laugh into each other, skimming light and soft. They kiss, pull back, and kiss again until the quick, off-center pecks melt into something long and deep. It isn't quite what her limited experience has led her to expect. Carmilla's mouth rasps over hers, a little too rough. They taste like copper, but she can't find it in herself to care. It doesn't matter. The only thought that keeps pounding through her head is that Carmilla is here. With her. Safe. So she clutches Carmilla's shirt and lets the subtle press of her lover's tongue tease her lips apart.

 _Lover. She is my lover now, right?_ she thinks, awestruck by the word even though it's only in her mind. There is no denying what they mean to each other. After what Carmilla has done for her, confessions and promises seem pointless. She doesn't need them the way she needs the mouth devouring hers. And it is devouring. Insistent. Carmilla drinks from her as if she's on the brink of death, as though she wants to squeeze the eternity that was almost stolen from her into a single moment. The raw urgency behind it is dizzying, stealing her breath...

Breath. She needs air. And Carmilla, who doesn't need to breathe, has complete control. She pulls away, sucking in ragged gulps until her lungs stop screaming. At first, a hurt look crosses Carmilla's face. Even though she's only seen it once before, on the night of the failed seduction, it sends a sharp stab of regret through her chest. "Oh, no. No no no. I don't want you to stop. I want..." And oh, does she want. Not only with her body, but with every bit of her heart.

Dark eyes lock with hers, wide and soft, searching for reassurance. Laura suddenly realizes that while she might not need any more words, Carmilla does. She hadn't made any grand gestures yet, or even any promises. Carmilla has given her everything, and so far, all she has given in return is a broken kiss and a few stammering sentences that might be a thank-you. She smiles, cupping Carmilla's cheek and resting their foreheads together. "Oh, Carm. You. I want you."

She isn't sure what she's expecting. Another passionate kiss, or maybe to be thrown onto the mattress. That's how it would go at the end of a romance novel, the only source of experience she can honestly claim to have. But instead, Carmilla remains frozen. A slight hint of color rises in points of her pale cheeks. Her fingers tremble, clutching tighter, and Laura realizes that words aren't going to be enough. This isn't about the vampire corrupting the shy ingénue, the experienced seductress deflowering the virgin. Carmilla is as overwhelmed as she is, with no idea how to react.

She can't help being proud of herself, and just a little smug. It must take something special to render a three hundred year old vampire speechless. Apparently, she's not as bad at this as she feared. At least not yet. And to her steadily growing surprise, she finds that she is eager to keep going. _I have to show her somehow... No. No, I want to show her. Need to show her that I care too._

Instead of waiting for Carmilla to move, Laura takes her unsteady hands and laces their fingers together. Miraculously, she doesn't stumble as she walks them back toward her bed. It's only a short drop until both of them are tangled on the mattress. It's a bit awkward at first, especially when her knee jabs into Carmilla's thigh, but eventually they find a position that works - with her straddling Carmilla's lap and brushing away the dark strands of hair that hang beside her face.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispers between kisses, finding the soft spots behind Carmilla's ears, beneath her jaw. "So glad you're here. I - I didn't know what I was going to do without you..."

Carmilla finally speaks. Her voice is hoarse, cracked and barely there, but their faces are so close that it doesn't matter. "I stuck around this long because I was afraid of another death. But right now? It's the first time in a hundred and fifty years that I've actually wanted to be alive."

That's all the encouragement Laura needs. She trails her hands along Carmilla's arms, toying with her sleeves, searching for the hem of her shirt. It slides up without any resistance. The feel of flesh beneath her palms is wonderful, even if it isn't very warm. She pauses, letting her palms rest against Carmilla's bare stomach. But something isn't right. "You're so cold," she murmurs. "Colder than usual. Do you... do you need more?"

She doesn't need to say more of what. Carmilla retreats, about to protest, but Laura ignores her. She slides her hair over her shoulder and tilts her head to the side. "It's okay. I don't want you passing out in the middle of..." She still isn't sure exactly how far she's planning to take this, but the burn in her face and the harsh pounding of her heartbeat is proof that she has plenty of blood to spare.

The display of trust makes Carmilla's eyes shine even brighter. She leans forward, inhaling shakily. "I've..." Laura can feel lips trembling against her neck, grazing her pulse point. "I've never had someone offer to feed me before."

"It's okay. Promise."

It happens quickly. The hold on her hips curls tighter, and Carmilla latches on above her shoulder. She stiffens as the sharp fangs pierce her skin, heart hammering in the cage of her ribs. For a split second, she's terrified. Even while she's weak, Carmilla is every inch a predator. A predator with full access to her vulnerable throat. But the soft palms holding her in place and the soft tickle of hair along her collarbone remind her exactly who is feeding from her. Carmilla. Carmilla would never hurt her. Carmilla almost died to save her. She doesn't have anything to be afraid of.

She finally relaxes.

After the first sting, she can't feel anything at all. The bite has stopped hurting, and she's more aware of Carmilla's warm mouth than her teeth. Then the taking begins, and the last traces of pain are eclipsed by something else. Heat spreads from her neck, slithering along her shoulder in tongues of flame, coiling in her chest and smoldering there. She gasps, clutching Carmilla for balance. _Oh. Oh God. I - I wasn't expecting it to feel good..._

The last time Carmilla had bitten her, she had been too shocked to process how it felt. It only lasted a few seconds, and if it hadn't been for the marks on her neck, she might have convinced herself it was all in her imagination. But as Carmilla draws from her, as the fire spreads and her pulse sends it racing through her body, it's all she can think of. Why had she been frightened? She can't remember, and it isn't important. Instead, she grips Carmilla's head to keep her in place.

Carmilla takes it as a sign of encouragement. The pressure increases, Laura's heart jerks harder, and all the heat blazing along her skin shoots down. She can't swallow her scream. It comes ripping out of her, lighting up her throat as her fingers twist in Carmilla's hair. The low throb becomes a deep, clawing ache, and a stab of want slices through her abdomen. It's almost too much, and part of her is certain she will shudder to pieces in Carmilla's arms.

Just as she's trying to figure out how to tear out of her clothes without breaking contact, Carmilla draws back. Her face is still pale, but it looks much more natural. Some of the fog in Laura's head recedes, although the heavy throb that's dropped between her legs only grows worse. She gropes for words, unsure how to describe what they have shared. "I - I didn't know it would feel like..."

"Yeah?" One of Carmilla's hands leaves her waist to cup the side of her cheek. Her smile shows two sharp points, but it's the softest she's ever looked. "I didn't know either."

Laura's heart soars. Carmilla shares her feelings. All the excitement and confusion. The desire and tenderness. Relief and gratitude that they're alive to have this moment at all. She doesn't want it to be over. She lets go of Carmilla's shoulders and crosses her arms, rolling up the hem of her shirt. Carmilla's hands flutter over her stomach, trying to help, but she doesn't need them. Moments later, her cardigan is long gone, her tank top is lost somewhere in the sheets, and Carmilla's much-warmer mouth is gliding across the slope of her chest.

Her head is spinning, but she's strangely calm as Carmilla strokes her naked sides. There is an inevitability to what they are doing. A certainty that it is the right time, the right choice. She sighs in approval as Carmilla's lips wrap around the sensitive tip of her breast, teasing it to hardness with light flicks of her tongue, but the sound swiftly becomes a gasp. She can feel the sharp points of Carmilla's fangs grazing her flesh, not biting down, but leaving small pinpricks of pressure behind. It doesn't hurt. In fact, it makes her hips jerk forward before she's prepared. The motion is completely involuntary, and her face burns.

"Oh god," she mutters as Carmilla finally releases her. Those teeth, those torturous lips, kiss their way to her other breast, following its curve. "Please..." But she doesn't need to beg. Carmilla is already flipping her onto her back and shifting lower. It's a gentle adjustment, but Laura can feel the raw power packed into her slender body. The ache inside her swells as she accepts the comforting weight on top of her. One last wish tugs at her before desire takes over, and she gives Carmilla with a pleading look. "Your clothes. Please?"

Carmilla pulls away from her, straddling her hips and shifting to sit on her heels. She's almost shy about the way she strips off her shirt, and once again, Laura understands that she isn't the only one embarking on something new and a little frightening. The cautious hope in Carmilla's eyes is a reflection of her own. But then the flat, pale plane of Carmilla's stomach appears, and Laura can't force herself to keep eye contact. She glances down, and all her thoughts unravel.

Carmilla's body is full of contrasts. Wiry muscle and splendid softness, almost beautifully intimidating. She's never seen anything so perfect up close before, and she can't help but reach out and touch. This time, the flesh is warm. Her heart leaps as she remembers that it's because of her. The deep mark on her neck throbs, and a shiver courses along her spine. She props herself up, winding her arms around Carmilla's waist and reaching for the clasp of her bra.

The next several minutes are a blur. She only remembers flashes. Kissing a perfect, uneven mark on the side of Carmilla's breast. Tracing the grooves of her ribs. Gasping for breath as both of them fall onto the mattress. The heat of their skin as it slides together. The needle-sharp points of Carmilla's teeth nipping at her stomach, her shoulders, just beneath her jaw. She knows she'll be a mess of little marks and bruises, but she doesn't care. They set her skin ablaze.

Somehow, she manages to help Carmilla wiggle out of her tight leather pants while their lips are fused together. It takes a fair amount of effort, but it's worth it when she slides over the bare expanse of Carmilla's back to grip the firm swell of her ass. But her underwear is still in the way, and that is unacceptable. She forces herself not to grind up as she hooks her thumbs through the waistband and starts dragging them down as well.

"Yes," Carmilla sighs between kisses, lifting enough to kick them the rest of the way off. "I want..." The warmth trails down again, scorching everywhere it touches. It's even better than before, and Laura writhes beneath her. Wetness paints along her bare stomach, and the fullness between her legs takes on a deep, pounding heartbeat all its own as she realizes what it is. There are no more barriers between her and Carmilla. She could reach out and...

Before Carmilla can finish her descent, Laura works a hand between their bodies, searching for the heated silk she can feel against her belly. When her fingers find wetness, she stares in awe. They have been so wrapped up in each other that she hasn't had a chance to look, but now, she can't tear her eyes away. Carmilla is gorgeous. Her outer lips are already swollen and petaled apart, and a neat strip of dark hair leads to the hard red bud of her clit. The hood is already pulled over the small shaft, and a whimper breaks in Laura's throat. It doesn't matter that she's never done this before. It's the easiest thing in the world to circle the stiff point with the slick pads of her fingers.

She knows she's doing something right when Carmilla moans in approval. Her head falls backward, sending her dark curls spilling between her shoulder blades in a waterfall. But although Laura appreciates the view - firm breasts, flat stomach, lean, quivering thighs - she is entranced by what her fingers are doing between Carmilla's legs. It is nothing like touching herself, but somehow, it's even better. Every stroke, every circle, every flick and curl is a chance to discover a new reaction, and she is determined to learn exactly how to do this.

Circling Carmilla's clit earns her deep, guttural groans. Sliding a little lower to brush her entrance makes her hips strain forward in search of more. Part of Laura is tempted to push inside, but she isn't quite ready yet. Instead, she teases the tight ring of muscle until Carmilla falls forward, bracing her weight for extra support. The movement brings her shoulder within easy reach, and Laura can't help but take advantage. She starts a string of kisses, following the line of Carmilla's collarbone as she continues to explore.

"Laura..."

It's the most beautiful way her name has ever been spoken. She wants to hear it fall from her lover's lips over and over again. When Carmilla's hips roll forward, she doesn't stop herself from slipping inside. There's no resistance. Just smooth, clinging velvet fluttering around her fingers. She can't believe the heat. The tightness. She doesn't move at first, amazed by what she has done - what they have done. But then Carmilla starts moving, rocking above her, and Laura eagerly matches her tempo.

It takes her a moment, but as she hooks her fingers forward, searching for the sensitive, ridged place inside Carmilla that she knows from touching herself, she realizes why the rhythm is so familiar. It lines up perfectly with each thud of her heart. It's as if Carmilla had stolen her heartbeat. The shared pulse pounds faster between them, and more wetness runs along her knuckles, making it easy to thrust.

With Carmilla's help, she picks up on a stroke that works. Push forward. In. Curl up. Press until Carmilla gasps and bucks above her. Out again. Once she has the movement perfected, she swipes her thumb over the straining point of Carmilla's clit, earning an even more broken version of her name. "Laura!" But there's something she wants even more than the sweet sound of her lover's voice. She cups Carmilla's neck, drawing her in for one last kiss.

As soon as their lips meet, Carmilla's hips freeze. Every muscle in her body tenses, straining until they almost snap. It's a moment of utter stillness, and Laura can't help but be in awe of the strength she has harnessed, the pleasure she has given. Then Carmilla shatters above her, screaming as her inner walls shudder. The bud beneath her thumb twitches, and a burst of wetness rushes into her palm, sliding well past her wrist. She curls her fingers into the same swollen spot, hitting it as best she can with Carmilla squeezing her so tight.

All the thoughts clears from her head except for one. Beautiful. She's so beautiful when she comes.

As the ripples become eddies, Laura still isn't ready to pull out. She keeps her fingers buried as long as she can, even when Carmilla collapses on top of her and pins her to the mattress. It's nice having their naked bodies pressed together, although she realizes that she's forgotten to remove her own underwear. She can tell there will be a dark stain at the front without even looking.

Carmilla gives her a slow, sleepy blink before noticing the same thing. She shifts back, and Laura reluctantly removes her hand. Both of them shiver at the loss, but a shared smile eases their parting. Suddenly, they are both laughing, sharing scattered, off-center kisses as Carmilla helps her out of her underwear. She feels a brief flare of nervousness as the last barrier between them disappears, but excitement far outweighs her fear. She wants this, inexperienced or not, and she wants it with Carmilla.

"This isn't how I pictured our first time," Carmilla whispers into her mouth. "I had a whole seduction planned. I was going to melt every inch of you before I even got your clothes off."

Laura cups the side of Carmilla's face, smiling as she strokes the point of her pale cheek. "I like it better this way. It's sweet. Genuine. Exactly how a first time is supposed to be."

Carmilla laughs, but for once, her usual dry sarcasm is nowhere to be found. "After both of us almost died?"

"Okay, I could have done without that part..."

Then they're kissing, and Carmilla's hands begin to wander. All the coldness is gone from her touch, and Laura gasps in surprise, arching to offer more. She didn't know that palms could sear skin, or that fingers could leave behind flickering trails of fire. Carmilla's exploration has her hyperaware of her own body, especially the swiftly growing ache between her legs.

But her lover does not seem inclined to rush. Carmilla's hunger, and her pace, remain slow and deliberate. Her touch lingers in secret places, searching for the spots that will make her come apart. Laura can't stifle a giggle as Carmilla's hair drags along a ticklish spot above her collarbone, and her hands shoot down to fist the sheets when warmth seals around the strained tip of her breast.

"Y-you don't have to do this," she stammers as Carmilla's teasing fingertips trace back and forth between her hipbones - drawing an endless, looping line that never goes far enough. Carmilla looks up at her with an expression that clearly says she disagrees. The pattern continues, winding further up before dipping dangerously low. Her mouth follows, leaving little marks that burn, but don't hurt.

At last, she can't stand it anymore. She abandons the covers and clutches Carmilla's head instead, trying to guide her down. To her relief, the silent plea works. For the first time in several minutes, Carmilla's lips break contact with her skin. "You'd better hold my hair back," she whispers, shifting lower on the mattress and ducking beneath her knees.

"Hold your..." she murmurs, repeating the words thoughtlessly until they finally sink in. "Oh. Oh!" Her eyes widen with realization, but her embarrassment is nothing compared to the stab of desire that follows. She watches in awe as Carmilla wanders up one of her thighs, following a glistening trail of wetness. The sharp prick of teeth makes her muscles tense, and the swollen bud of her clit throbs with jealousy, pulsing in rhythm with the mark on her throat. She wants Carmilla to bite her again. To drink from her very core. To drain her until she is a screaming, shuddering wreck. She follows Carmilla's instructions, fisting her dark hair and holding it back as her kisses wind higher.

The first contact rips a scream from her throat. She can't help it. Carmilla's approach is a curious mixture of gentleness and force, and it has her rocking in a matter of moments. But Carmilla pins her hips to the bed, holding them in place. The message is clear. _Don't move yet._ Let me. She can do nothing but obey. Before, she was the one with the world open to her, learning everything she could. She had been inquisitive, curious. Now, she is merely breathless as warmth closes around the stiff bud of her clit.

Carmilla's tongue sweeps over her, brushing softly at first, then painting in slow circles. It's nothing like her own fingers, and not as gentle as she expected. The strokes have a pleasant roughness to them, and more heat spills from inside her, running over Carmilla's chin. She doesn't seem to mind as she pulls away and licks her lips clean, deciding what to do next. Laura is all too aware that she is being analyzed, studied almost like prey. Carmilla is debating the best way to devour her.

Several seconds of agony pass before that wicked tongue slides down to her entrance, testing the ring of muscle there. She trembles, waiting for it to push inside, but Carmilla seems content to wait, gathering up every bit of wetness before she finally slides deeper. With Carmilla's tongue buried inside her and the sharp edges of her fangs grazing her inner lips, it's impossible to stay still. Her clit is aching from the memory of Carmilla's mouth, and she lets go with one hand, bringing it between her legs to apply some much-needed pressure.

A hand shoots out at lightning speed, grasping her wrist in an unbreakable grip. The movement is so fast that she barely registers it until Carmilla is pushing her arm up, draping it back across her own stomach. She gives a long, slow blink, conveying her message without words. _Don't touch either._

At first, Laura considers disobeying. Carmilla doesn't have some inherent right to tell her what to do in bed. But then that beautiful mouth glides up to pull her in again, and Carmilla's fingers take the place of her tongue. Full and wrapped in warmth, she doesn't need her own touch. _We'll have to talk about this bossy attitude later,_ she thinks, but for now, she can't bring herself to be angry. There will be time to tell Carmilla off after she comes… which is going to be soon, judging by the coiling pressure in her abdomen.

It grows more and more unbearable with each thrust of Carmilla's hand. The fingers inside her form a hook, searching until they catch against a place that make her sob because it's almost too much. Once Carmilla finds it, her leisurely exploration stops. She zeroes in, and Laura can only hold on for dear life as the fullness becomes a heavy, pounding ache.

Before she can adjust to the new sensation, her clit gives an almost painful jolt. The sharp points of Carmilla's fangs tease the tender flesh on either side of her shaft, causing it to swell even further. It doesn't hurt, and as Carmilla takes her in a bite so gentle she can't even make sense of it, a wave of need crashes over her. All the sensation in her body rushes in to fill that single spot, and she tilts her hips up to offer more.

She surrenders everything. Her fear, her grief, her joy, and the glow she is no longer to afraid to put a name to. Love. She loves Carmilla. Sullen, broody, insufferable, brave, beautiful Carmilla. And tears run over her cheeks as she realizes that Carmilla almost certainly loves her too. It's visible in her actions, in her voice, in her eyes. Carmilla is here, and they're both alive and in love, and nothing is ever going to be the same.

That freedom is enough to send her flying. She cries out, and her clit twitches between Carmilla's teeth, pulsing in the burning seal of her lips. All the pressure against her front wall bursts at last, flooding out around the fingers buried inside of her. She hadn't known it was possible for her to come so hard, or so much, but it feels better than anything she's experienced before. Each thick jet brings ripples of relief, and she arches off the bed, shuddering with each greedy pull of Carmilla's mouth.

But Carmilla doesn't stop. The drawing, continues until every inch of her skin is screaming. Another orgasm tears out of her, splashing over Carmilla's lips and chin and into her palm. Her clit throbs with its own heavy heartbeat until Carmilla's curling thrusts have dragged out every bit of pleasure she has to give. She falls onto the mattress, whimpering and panting and squirming because the pressure has suddenly become too much.

Still determined, Carmilla wrings a few more selfish contractions from her body before it gives out. Then she withdraws as gently as possible, pulling her teeth back and easing her fingers out. Laura feels herself clench at the loss, but Carmilla's soothing touches relax her again. A soft tongue slides between her swollen outer lips, gathering up every drop of her release before moving down to clean her trembling thighs.

The movement reminds her of something, but with her brain in a fog, she can't remember what until Carmilla lets out a low, throaty purr of pride and contentment. "So… so you're a giant black cat, huh?"

Carmilla stops what she's doing and looks up and snorts in disbelief, obviously annoyed at being interrupted. The sound is too much, and Laura bursts out into a fit of giggles, grinning foolishly and trying to catch her breath. Instead of rolling her eyes, Carmilla joins her, climbing up and flopping onto the mattress beside her. An affectionate arm curls around her waist, pulling her close, and Laura tries to muffle her laughter in the safety of Carmilla's shoulder.

"I should have expected you to ruin the moment," Carmilla sighs against her hair, although she doesn't quite manage to sound disappointed.

Laura finally managed to catch her breath. "I didn't ruin the moment. It was perfect. Although I hope you're not the kind of cat who minds a shower, because we both need one."

One of Carmilla's dark eyebrows lifts in surprise. "And whose fault is that?"

"Yours," she says, blushing a little.

Carmilla gives a long, luxurious stretch before cuddling even deeper into the mattress - and into her. "I don't mind taking the blame this time, but…"

"Another minute," Laura agrees. "I'm not ready to get up yet either."

But for the first time in what seems like forever, she feels content. Silas is safe. Her lover is wrapped securely in her arms. And for once, it looks like her life is finally heading in the right direction. She smiles as Carmilla's earlier words flit through her head. _It's the first time in a hundred and fifty years that I've actually wanted to be alive…_ She knows it's the reason Carmilla is here with her. She's Carmilla's reason for fighting instead of running, for daring to live instead fearing death. And she's going to stay right where she is, at Carmilla's side, to prove her reason is a good one.


End file.
